I love sushi. When I first started dating, if it wasn’t for certain sushi’s aphrodiasiac properties, I would not have… umm… so much to owe sushi. Italian food, French food, and any other romance food is delicious for first dates too. But when all your blood rushes to your stomach and your arteries get clogged with fatty globules… let’s just say your blood is rushing to the wrong organ.
[A Quick ASIDE:] Of all the sushi joints in all the world, I owe a great deal to Station Sushi. I strongly recommend it on some random Thursday night. The crowd is young. The sake is cheap. The music is thumping hiphop. The servers are just plain gorgeous. And if you walk in on a summer evening, half of the crowd will be covered in beach sand from their surf trunks to their bikini tops. Station sushi sits on the most beautiful coast line cliff in all of Southern California
I love sushi so much, I once walked into another sushi restaurant an hour before it reopened for dinner. Have you ever wondered why sushi restaurants have to close for three hours anyways? I don’t wonder anymore. I know.
On this fateful day, I walked in. The sushi chefs ushered me back out like big bouncer cherubs guarding the only entry back into the Garden of Eden. I sweet talked and begged my way back in. I sat at the bar. I should have surrendered to the will of God. For what I saw next permanently scarred my retina. Literally.
Each of the three sushi chefs had two impliments they were using. One was a sushi knife as you’d expect. The other, a pair of tweezers.
They would cut each fillet in half first. Then methodically, slowly, precisely, they would apply their tweezers to little swirls in the flesh of the freshly quartered fish. When they retracted their tweezers, one single white hair-like fiber would follow.
Trying to protect my sanity, my conscious mind asked innocently, “are you deveining the fish?”
With a condemning look, the same sushi chef who tried to push me back out said, “No. I am preparing the fish for you to eat. I am pulling out the live parasitic worms.”
(Pause for run to bathroom)
The reason this post is entitled, “If YOU’VE Ever Eaten Sushi…” is because most of you gentle readers will not be Japanese or Korean. The above fear generally does NOT apply to people who eat like the Japanese or Koreans.
What I mean by that is that of all the white girl dates and white people friends I’ve taken to sushi, very few of them enjoyed the seaweed nori, ate the seaweed salad, or piled on the wasabi.
“It’s too spicy!” Several dates said.
“It’s too slimy!” Many of my college beer buddies said.
But there is a method to the ancient cultural madness. You didn’t actually think that Korean and Japanese actually LIKE that slimy and nuclear hot crap do you? The only reason they eat the stuff agressively is because:
1. Wasabi contains isothiocyanates that actually kill microbes bacteria and parasitic worms including, E. coli, V. parahaemolyticus B. cereus. The isothiocyanates have even been proven to destroy cancer cells. (source: JBNI Scientists and Physicians )
2. Seaweed has extremely powerful anti-trichomonal properties that even kill sexually transmitted parasitic worms. The chemical properties of seaweed actually destroy the mucus membranes that shield worms and cancer cells from your white blood cells and stomach acid. (source: JBNI Scientists and Physicians )
What I learned: When I take a date to sushi, if she peels off the seaweed and say’s, “no, thank you” to wasabi, we go Dutch for that meal. And THAT is as far as we ever go.
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