I love New Orleans (YAY SAINTS!). I’ve been there. The streets feel like old French country village roads. The air is spicy with clear hints of fluffy Jambalaya, the thickest piping Gumbo, crunchy crawfish, and Belgian Ales. Women happily flash their IDs to gain entry into the oldest bars steeped in legendary culture like The Dungeon.
I love New Orleans (YAY SAINTS!) What I remember most strikingly however, due to my occupation, is what was on my table at my steak house. It was my salt. It was raining outside and it didn’t pour. My salt didn’t pour when it rained. I was thrilled.
It meant I could eat in peace. It meant I could eat without worrying about the toxicity of the anti-clumping agents or how my neurons, blood vessels and fat cells would be clogged by refined salt stripped of their balancing trace minerals. If this sounds even slightly hypochondriac, there was a time when your father insulated your house with asbestos without wearing a hazmat suit.
Way back in 1848 Chicago, Morton’s Salt Factory realized how annoyed restauranteurs got in the muggy summer when their patrons opened up the salt shakers and hammered down clumping salt with the backs of their forks. For all of history, this was the only way to make salt in humidity shakable.
Then, Joy Morton and Sons discovered a technology that would enable their company to dominate the world scene. In 1911, “Morton starts adding magnesium carbonate (an anti-caking agent) to salt, creating a table salt that flows freely, even in humid weather.” (source: mortonsalt.com)
This was revolutionary for many reasons that only ended at the table. By making salt that was humidity (read: water) resistant, since the grains poured freely, the packaging process was sped up greatly. Once in a package, since there were no clumps, Morton could ship more salt in smaller containers saving him millions of dollars in logistics. Smaller packages meant less cardboard, less restocking market shelves, and much more profit. No one else had this technology.
This is what Morton’s means when they say, “When It Rains, It Pours.” They are talking about salt freely pouring out.
Today, I think it’s pretty clear that when science, especially turn of the century (the last century) science “improves” on nature, there are always dire consequences. 400 years BC. The father of western medicine, Hippocrates, was recorded as preparing the first aspirin tea from the leaves of a willow tree (Cortex salicis). Modern science figures out how to extract more from the willow tree cheaper. So instead of salicin, you have salicilic acid. One is healthy and expensive. The other will burn a hole in your stomach making your gastric pH ideal for H. pylori to ulcerate your stomach then promote stomach cancer.
Today, we’ve somehow acquiesced to dangerous side effects as if they are an inescapable part of life. We are totally fine risking blindness to cure “underful eyelash disorder.” We are totally fine risking infertility, impotence, and children with birth defects to cure “restless leg syndrome.”
As you’d imagine, your iodized salt also carries with it some serious side effects. Making a salt that doesn’t react to humidity (read: water) worries me. My body is mostly water. I don’t want to generalize, so maybe it’s just a personal problem, but I don’t like that most of my body can’t dissolve iodized refined salt. I don’t like that the molecular cluster size of this salt blocks clumps like hairy gum under my chair but in my arteries and capillaries. I don’t like that iodized salt’s molecular cluster size makes my fat cells clump and jiggle as cellulite. I don’t like that clogged blood vessles starve my hair follicles of nutrition making them fall out. And it annoys me that salt that doesn’t react to water makes clogs that my heart suddenly stop beating.
Personally, I don’t have a better solution for curing “hypotrichosis of the eyelash disorder.” I can’t help you cure your “restless leg syndrome.” But I have a suggestion if you don’t want the side effects of iodized salt. I wouldn’t put 1911 technology motor oil in my BMW. I’d recommend that you don’t put 1911 technology salt in your body. And I recommend you visit New Orleans (YAY SAINTS!). I can’t wait till I get back there. – @journik